by Amber McNaught

As you wake up this morning, switch on the news and perhaps ponder for a moment the manifold ills of this world – war, famine, disease, pestilence, Celine Dion albums – spare a thought for poor Evangeline Lilly. Her trials are indeed hard to bear, for the poor sweet thing has the utter misfortune to have been born beautiful. And she’s whining about it.

Speaking of her torturted childhood, the Lost star comments: "I cried myself to sleep wishing I was ugly, because men leered and disrepected me." My heart bleeds…