Chico Time off The X Factor update 1: Chico wants to "settle down" with a Scottish woman. No particular Scottish woman, just a Scottish woman. I’m sure Simon Cowell‘s got Michelle McManus’s phone number somewhere.

(That was a cheap shot. I’m sorry Michelle. You seem like a top bird, and you put up very graciously with that angry elderly lady in You Are What You Eat.)

Chico Time off The X Factor update 2: Chico will produce and star in a film he’s written, like George Clooney. Lunchbox, for that is its title, is based on Chico’s experiences as a stripper. Chico will play himself.