The weekend brought us two big stories from the frothpot that is Saturday-evening family entertainment: the decision by small-eyed leprechaun Louis Walsh to kick the talented one off The X Factor because she wasn’t Irish enough, and the Mirror’s exclusive on Billie Piper.

Billie’s clearly still traumatised by being squashed between Davids Davis and Cameron at the National TV Awards, so she’s ensured that such a thing never happens again by "sensationally" quitting her role as Rose Tyler in Doctor Who. The Mirror describes "BBC chiefs" as "miffed", which at least makes a change from "stunned".

Whatever you think of Doctor Who’s cartoonish acting and plotlines, its regeneration has been one of the biggest stories in British TV this year, and Billie’s departure will distress many a 40-something dad (no Chris, not you). It also gives TV Scoop an excuse to take cash bets on new sidekicks for dishy Doc David Tennant:

* Charlotte Church 3/1 fav
* Posh Spice 10/1
* Peter Andre 50/1
* David Cameron 300/1 outsider